Another summer blockbuster, another mediocre movie. This time, it was Transformers 3, known as Dark of the Moon. I think it should be named Slow of the Motion.
Turns out that the whole moon race is so that the Americans can beat the Russians to a crashed ship from Cybertron and learn a secret or two. The astronauts return with five pillars of unknown use. This part of the film was pretty interesting, as skilled casting and decent CGI render a fair looking Kennedy and Nixon. Robert McNamera was well done, as well. The items linger until there are energon readings from Chernobyl. Somehow the Soviets got a piece of the ship, as well, like magic. This leads to a Decepticon attack, and anger on the part of Optimus Prime, complaining the humans are holding out.
Sam (played by Shia LeBeouf) is jobless, despite saving our asses, twice, and getting a medal to prove it. Shacking up with Carley (Victoria Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley) isn't enough, he needs a job, as his parents remind him. Fortunately for him, the Decepticons begin their power play. Action ensues, sort of. One thing that bugged me was the constant slow-motion of the action scenes. The Autobots transform in slo-mo, swing at Decepticons in slo-mo, Rangers dodge falling OV-22s in slo-mo, it just keeps going to the point of boredom. There are a handful of plot "twists" that are not that shocking when they are revealed, because you see them from three miles away. There are not too many plot holes, such as when Sam runs from Laserbeak, who now looks like a ragged buzzard, rather than a sleek hawk or falcon. Laserbeak shoots up the office, yet gives up once Sam makes it to the streets. The fights make little sense, as one second Autobots meekly await execution, the very next, they rip the guts out of the Decepticons. Makes no sense to not fight when you can morph weapons on your arm.
On my scale, Transformers: Dark of the Moon gets a solid "Meh", which would equate 2 out of four stars. Didn't suck as much as Green Lantern.
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